04/07/2006 - THE CO-OPERATIVE BANK WARNS BUYERS TO INTERPRET JARGON TO AVOID POST-PURCHASE DEPRESSION!
As speculation grows around whether Prince William and girlfriend Kate Middleton have their eyes firmly set on establishing a home at Harewood End or in a trendy London suburb, The Co-operative Bank is urging all young couples to quickly learn how to translate estate agents’ jargon, if they wish to avoid “post-purchase depression”.
Whilst William and Kate could probably afford a Home Counties six bedroom manor complete with four reception rooms, ensuite facilities, dressing room, conservatory, tennis court and landscaped gardens, most young couples cannot contemplate anything more than a studio flat or a small terraced house in a supposedly ‘up-and-coming neighbourhood’ - if they are lucky!
William and Kate are not likely to face the prospect of being ‘gazumped’ or ‘gazundered’, as many graduate couples that are entering the property market for the first time might encounter. It is also doubtful that the future King and his girlfriend will have to be totting up their joint incomes to raise a mortgage, providing proof of earnings, or thinking about taking in a lodger to help make the monthly repayments.
The Co-operative Bank deals with many young mortgage seekers, who approach it for a home loan. It knows that, regardless of whether a dream residence is a simple pad or posh palatial property, the first step on the property ladder can be an eye-opening experience once the reality of home descriptions is unveiled. Glossing over the truth is common and phrases can be interpreted in various ways, which is why the Bank has de-coded some of the most commonly used estate agent ‘bloomers’ to help buyers escape post-purchase depression, whatever the size of their mortgage and property.
John Barker, Head of Mortgage Lending at The Co-operative Bank said: “Estate agents have their own inimitable style when it comes to describing properties, however this can sometimes lead to buyers wasting time viewing unsuitable homes or, in the worse cases, buying a house that later proves to be riddled with problems.
“Whilst our interpretations are a little tongue in cheek, they do drive home a serious message – wise up to all the tricks of the property jungle before you make that move to put yourself on the first rung of the ladder.”
The Co-operative Bank offers a wide range of mortgage solutions full details of which can be found at www.goodwithmoney.com
Note to Editors:
The following phrases can sometimes be translated in different ways, so home buyers need to check their prospective purchases out very carefully!
|FIRST TIME BUYERS SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR.....||AFFLUENT COUPLES (INCLUDING ROYALS) SHOULD WATCH OUT FOR.....|
|Ambient nightlife – Next door to the local karaoke pub.||16 th Century property enjoying features associated with that period – There's no toilet, but you can use the potties provided.|
|Benefits from double glazing – The home on the intersection of four major roads.||A number of endearing features – the last owners have left granny living in the West wing!|
|Close to local schools – The noise from the playground is deafening.||Exposed timbers – The money ran out before the builders could finish the job.|
|Bijou - Not enough room to swing a cat.||Gorgeous eat in kitchen – No dining room so perch on a kitchen stool and enjoy your tucker!|
|Compact – As above, but substitute kitten for cat.||Guest suite – The last owners have left a sofa bed in the outhouse.|
|Convenient for – as in “Convenient for M25” - Your garden doubles as the hard shoulder.||Highly desirable park side location – Next to where the winos hang out.|
|Easily maintained gardens – Don't even waste your time buying a lawn mower, just invest in some scissors.||Imaginatively decorated – The previous owner was colour blind.|
|Friendly village atmosphere – You'll be the talk of the village within no time.||Immaculately presented – You will be shown round by a former air hostess, who will be able to point the way to every door.|
|Four bedrooms/study - Three bedrooms & a cupboard.||In neutral contemporary tones – Every room is decorated in white woodchip.|
|In need of modernisation – In need of demolition.||Omnipotent redbrick mansion – As ugly and tasteless as they come.|
|Internal viewing recommended – Looks awful from the outside.||One of a kind – If there were two, you would be in trouble!|
|Light and airy – A gale blows through the ill-fitting window frames.||Oriental styled garden – Enjoy the whiff of chop suey served up at the takeaway next door.|
|Mature garden – Only suitable if you are David Bellamy.||Popular residential road – Reach for those earplugs!|
|Original features – Water tank still contains cholera bacterium.||Sympathetically converted – Done on the cheap by dab hand Dan the DIY man.|
|Priced to sell – Please, please buy this house!||Teeming with character – Commission a dry rot and woodworm report immediately.|
|Studio – You can watch TV in the bath.||Wealth of features – Grotesque kitsch.|
|Would suit DIY enthusiast – The place is falling down around your ears.||Well fitted dressing area – The bathroom.|
Co-operative Financial Services was formed in 2002 to bring together The Co-operative Bank, smile (the Internet bank) and the Co-operative Insurance Society (CIS).
4th July 2006
For further information contact:
Co-operative Financial Services Press Office
Tel: 0161 829 4187
Fax: 0161 829 4590